This girl could have used our help – a crime of fashion

The date: Saturday, February 25, 2012

The place: Jeni’s Ice Cream, Nashville, TN

The crime:

The description: I’m just going to cut to the chase. Those are pink glitter Uggs. On someone who is over the age of 5. This is unacceptable. When I first saw the glitter Uggs in stores last fall, I thought to myself, “who in the world would wear those???”*

*Actually, I’m pretty sure I said that out loud. And not quietly, I might add.

Apparently, who wears these is a 22-year-old-ish patron of a hip East Nashville ice cream parlor who has a maple leaf tattoo of the Canadian-pride variety behind her left ear. (Oh yes she did.) Lest you think I was too blinded by the sparkle of her pink booties to notice what was happening on her shoulder, I can assure you, I was not. Let’s take a closer look:

In case any of you were wondering how to make me hate a logo-patterned Coach bag more, the answer is to add hearts, gold stars and plaid ribbon. And no, your eyes do not deceive you – that says “Puppy Coach.” I can’t decide if it would be better or worse if this bag was actually designed to carry a small dog.

The lesson: NO pink glitter Uggs over the age of 5. NO excuses. NO exceptions. The end.

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About Shea Brakefield

Lawyer for pay. Fashion crimefighter for free. View all posts by Shea Brakefield

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