This girl could have used our help – a crime of fashion

The date: October 10, 2012

The place: The annual Nashville Scene ‘Best of Nashville’ party

The crime:

The description: Howdy, kids! Thanks for coming back despite my woeful neglect of this blog. But as you can see above, I brought you a gift to make up for my absence in the form of this gem spotted at the Nashville Scene’s ‘Best of Nashville’ party.

Now lest you think this girl was wearing this outfit as some sort of costume because it was a “Nashville” party, I will tell you the theme for this party was actually The Roaring 20’s. But for those who chose not to don their best flapper gear, snappy cazsh was the order of the evening as evidenced by my own really small gang pictured at the same event:

World’s Greatest Sister Wives, from L to R: H, Me, BrHS, B

No, instead of dressing to fit the theme or just dressing to meet the general, socially-accepted standards of appropriate attire, our patriotic friend above chose to wear the very worst in East Nashville hipster chic: ironic thrift store jean jacket, too-tight cut-off denim shorts and tights underneath said shorts. And yes, those tights have a hole in them right beneath her butt cheek. Knowing East Nashville hipsters, this was probably not an accident.*

*Also, it’s hard to see in the blurry iphone (thanks again Apple) pic above, but she was wearing a banana clip in her hair. A banana clip of the giant, 1980’s variety – you know the ones I’m talking about. She might as well have been wearing a scrunchie.  Shudder.

The lesson: Let us not waste time wondering why this party attendee chose to thumb her nose at the rest of us by looking like a crazed fashion refugee from 1983. Let us instead learn from her by all solemnly vowing not to repeat her mistakes at our next social event. Or anywhere, ever.