Monthly Archives: February 2012

This girl could have used our help – a crime of fashion

The date: Saturday, February 25, 2012

The place: Jeni’s Ice Cream, Nashville, TN

The crime:

The description: I’m just going to cut to the chase. Those are pink glitter Uggs. On someone who is over the age of 5. This is unacceptable. When I first saw the glitter Uggs in stores last fall, I thought to myself, “who in the world would wear those???”*

*Actually, I’m pretty sure I said that out loud. And not quietly, I might add.

Apparently, who wears these is a 22-year-old-ish patron of a hip East Nashville ice cream parlor who has a maple leaf tattoo of the Canadian-pride variety behind her left ear. (Oh yes she did.) Lest you think I was too blinded by the sparkle of her pink booties to notice what was happening on her shoulder, I can assure you, I was not. Let’s take a closer look:

In case any of you were wondering how to make me hate a logo-patterned Coach bag more, the answer is to add hearts, gold stars and plaid ribbon. And no, your eyes do not deceive you – that says “Puppy Coach.” I can’t decide if it would be better or worse if this bag was actually designed to carry a small dog.

The lesson: NO pink glitter Uggs over the age of 5. NO excuses. NO exceptions. The end.


Joe’s Jeans Thunderbird Belt – do we love it?

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this here before or not, but I love belts. I’m not sure when exactly I came to love belts, but I definitely know why. I love belts because they bring waistlines to the ladies, like myself, who wouldn’t have them otherwise. Seriously – if you think of belts only as something to keep your pants up you are missing out. Adding a belt over a dress, or over a shirt and cardi, or even over a blazer WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!*

*Okay, maybe not your life, but definitely your body shape. And that’s almost just as good.

I think I’m loving this belt for Spring:

Joe’s Jeans Thunderbird Belt at Free People – $88

This is cute, right? Or no? It definitely reminds me of this, which was apparently controversial, but I thought was unabashedly fabulous:

image credit

This is exactly how I would want to dress if I was a celebrity – gorgeous, but not conventional. Emma is totally my latest celebrity fashion girl crush.

But what do we think about birds on belts for us non-celebrity types? Here’s another “bird belt” I think I’m loving:

Fossil Turtledove Waist – $48

I think this one, while not as Emma Stone-inspired, is probably a little more practical for my wardrobe.*

*On a side note, for someone who likes birds in her wardrobe and her home decor, I am unexpectedly terrified of them in real life. Because regardless of whether it’s one pigeon in the office courtyard, or a flock of seagulls at the beach, you never know when this might happen:

image credit

Seriously. That is terrifying. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

Now that I’ve fueled your nightmares and mine – what do we think about the belt?

Things we love: Spring 2012 Essentials – florals

Welcome to part three of my Spring 2012 Essentials Series! Let’s get right to it, shall we?

Today’s essential = florals.

And I mean floral everything. Bright and bold floral prints are showing up on shirts, skirts, pants, jackets and even shoes this Spring. The designer inspiration for this essential comes to us from Dolce & Gabbana:

image credit

I think these are so girly and Spring-y and delightfully retro. And while there’s no doubt the floral patterns are Betty Draper-esque, the clothes are cut in a modern way making the retro florals feel fresh and new.

And now, as Miranda Priestly so eloquently explained, what showed up on the runways has made its way down to the little people like you and me. How can you enjoy florals this Spring?

You can enjoy them on a dress:

Floral Dresses

You can enjoy them on a blazer:

Floral Blazers

You can enjoy them on a blouse:

Floral blousesOr you can enjoy them on a skirt:

Floral Skirts

Just, whatever you do…

I’m begging you…

For the love of God…

Don’t enjoy them all at once:

image credit

So how can you enjoy them without looking like wallpaper? Stay tuned to my Spring 2012 Essentials series and I’ll show you how. *

*And that, kids, is called a tease. I knew that communications degree would pay off some day.

Jessica Simpson Love Letter Scalloped Short – do we love it?

The year was 2003. I was smack dab (don’t you just love that phrase) in the middle of my second year of law school and my sixth consecutive year of college. All of that schooling combined with the recent illness and loss of a family member had left me totally and completely burned out. What brought me joy and made me smile during that time? This:

image credit

Every Wednesday night after church my roommate, two of our girl friends, and I would pick up Guthrie’s for dinner (96 grams of fatty goodness in a box) and head back to our apartment to watch Newlyweds. Now prior to this show, I had no use for these people. Even at the height of my boy-band fandom, Nick Lachey never did anything for me and I always thought Jessica was kind of generic. But once those two crazy kids let a camera crew and the rest of America into their home, I kind of loved them.

And so (like so many of you I’m sure) I was crushed when they split up. I was positive my love for the two of them would dissolve just like their marital assets once they were apart. I was also positive the two of them would fade into oblivion after the tabloid furor regarding their split died down.

But my girl Jess has pulled a second act comeback in a major way. By now I’m sure you’ve all seen her clothes, shoes, bags, jewelry, etc. But did you realize that her fashion empire is a BILLION DOLLAR company??? That’s legit business right there. And the best part is that a lot of her stuff is totally cute, wearable and affordable.

I’m thinking these shorts are a good example of that:

Jessica Simpson Collection

Love letter Scalloped Short – $49

Let’s break it down.

Things I like: 1. the scalloped hem, 2. the coral color, 3. the floral pattern, 4. the under-$50 price tag.

Things I don’t like: 1. my thighs

Basically there’s nothing I don’t love about these shorts. I think they would look really cute with a tucked in chambray shirt or a flowy, gauzy white top and some gold gladiator sandals this summer. But will I still love them when they are exposing my secret thigh shame to the world? Can we mere mortals wear these, or are they reserved for the tiny, tan teenagers of the world? And did anyone EVER think there would come a day when Jessica Simpson was the owner of a billion dollar company? Clearly the apocalypse is upon us.

Gray & Yellow – how to love it (a Pinterest re-do)

So it’s Monday again. Funny how that keeps happening. And because it is a Monday, and especially because it is a Monday immediately following a Hollywood awards show requiring me to spend great quantities of time on the internet reading reviews of the sartorial stylings of people like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga, I’m not getting a whole lot of work done today.

Something else that’s keeping me from getting a lot of work done today = Pinterest. It is seriously a black hole of productivity. Especially when I come across things like this:

Golden Deliscious

And now my eyes are bleeding and I’m really not going to be able to get any work done because I am blind.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the women of America by spending time on Pinterest, it’s that 90-ish percent of them love a good matchy-matchy outfit like the one above. But women of America please hear me now – your outfits and accessories do NOT have to match, they just have to GO. In fact, it’s much, much better that way.

I don’t hate the outfit above because it’s gray and yellow. I hate the outfit above because it’s TOO MUCH yellow. As in, everything is yellow. *

*On a side note, I do find it hilarious that the person who created this outfit titled it “Golden Delicious” and then went with lemons as her fruit of choice.**

**On a second side note, who accessorizes their outfits with fruit???

This outfit makes me especially sad because I do love gray and yellow together as a color combo. In fact, I have long wanted to decorate my guest bedroom in gray, yellow and navy. (Which at the rate I’m going with home decorating will happen sometime in the year 2025.) So how would I make gray and yellow work in an outfit? Like so:

Gray & Yellow Casual

Much better, yes? The yellow here is subtle accent color and not an all-out assault on your visual system. And as the weather warms up you can drop the cardi, remove the scarf, swap out the ankle booties for a pair of yellow flats and keep wearing that adorable tank all the way through Summer.

Like your yellow subtle, but want to have a little more of it in your outfit? Here you go:

Gray & Yellow Dress

Check out that precious yellow trench coat. It works here because the base of the outfit (that dress) is a neutral color. A neutral base allows for more fun accessories like the yellow trench, patterned bag and turquoise earrings. I really love this outfit.  So much so that the only thing keeping me from running out and buying this entire outfit after work is the fact that I have already tried to squeeze my large calves into those Hunter boots. I won’t tell you how it turned out, but I will tell you there were tears. And they were not of joy.

To sum up, gray + yellow = good. All yellow + more yellow + a gray coat = not. But what do you think? Is subtle yellow the best yellow? Or do you like all yellow all the time? Head to the comments to let me know!



Lilly Pulitzer Kariana Sweater Dress – do we love it?

Several of my friends are having babies right now. The bad news is that they’re all having boys. Why is that bad news? Because it deprives me of the opportunity to buy their future children giant hairbows, little frilly white socks, and black patent-leather mary janes.

The good news is that their having sons means I won’t subjected to offensive ‘mommy and me’ outfits like these:

image credit

Here’s the thing – if you are a grown woman with a child, you should not, under any circumstances, be wearing the same or similar outfit as that child. Period. This is something little girls do with their dolls. You do not want to be mistaken for a little girl with a doll.

Who do I blame for this mommy/daughter/babydoll epidemic? Lilly Pulitzer. (Those are her designs in the pic above.) In addition to being the purveyor of matchy-matchy outfits, LP is also a seller of ‘whimsical’ prints like monkeys with hula-hoops, green and turquoise tigers, and oh yeah, giant squid:

This is for real.

I mean, COME ON. There are good things happening here. The shape of the dress is charming. The combination of coral and white is lovely. There is no need to add a cephalopod.

And so, because of all of the above, I have always rolled my eyes whilst strolling past the LP sections of various department stores over the years. I’m sure there were sarcastic comments involved as well. But I recently discovered (on pinterest of course) an LP dress that might actually make me eat my words:

Lilly Pulitzer Kariana Sweater Dress – $198

I cannot believe how cute this is. Ordinarily I would never consider any clothing with butterflies on it to be ‘cute’  for anyone over the age of 8. And yes, it’s true that I originally thought those butterflies were just a lace pattern. But butterflies and all, I think this dress is totally presh.The only thing I really question is the practicality of a sweater dress for summertime in the South.

But what do you think? Is it time for me to make a Lilly Pulitzer purchase? Or is this dress really just deserving of an eye roll and more sarcastic commentary?

Things we love: Spring 2012 Essentials – colored pencil skirts

Good afternoon kids and welcome to part 2 of my spine-tingling “Spring 2012 Essentials” series. I know you’ve all been waiting with bated breath since the first installment.*

*And if you haven’t been don’t tell me – let me be delusional. Makes me feel loved.

Today’s essential = colored pencil skirts.

Trust me when I say a brightly-colored pencil skirt is more versatile than you think. Now it’s true that a stay-at-home mom of young children probably won’t have as many opportunities to wear one as someone who works in an office everyday, like myself. But I think that’s because most people can’t see a pencil skirt paired with anything other than a conservative button-up shirt.  Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box – a brightly-colored pencil skirt would look totes adorable with a striped t-shirt and flats for a baby shower or church on Sundays.

So to get us started, here is the designer inspiration:

Versace – $700

So, SO fab. Between the color, shape and texture, this is one amazeballs skirt.

But the $700 price tag is also so, SO unrealistic. So here are my picks for colored pencil skirts that will brighten up your wardrobe this Spring:

J Crew No. 2 Pencil Skirt – $110

I absolutely love this skirt in every color. I’m only featuring the yellow one here because it is my favorite at this very second. But given how much I love the blue, green and pink ones, that is subject to change any minute now.

Milly Tweed Pencil Skirt – $295

Such a pretty, Spring-y green! I also love the texture of the tweed and the super-cute tab details at the waist.

Express Ultimate Double Weave High Waist Pencil Skirt – $70

Lately purple has seemingly become my fave color without me even realizing it. Yoga mat = purple. Yoga towel = purple. New peacoat = purple. Purple is really the stealth ninja of the color family. And I don’t even mind because it’s so pretty and versatile. Bring it on purple!

Trina Turk Ashton Tweed Pencil Skirt – $228

Whether you call this color ‘salmon’ (like I would) or ‘watermelon’ (like the designer does), I think we can all agree it’s gorge. The front slit is a fun little detail, too.

I hope these awesome examples of colorful pencil skirts have convinced you that you need one (or two) – I’ve convinced myself that I need them all. I’ll be back later on in the series with some suggestions of how to wear these, but in the meantime, here are my tips for buying pencil skirts:

– Pencil skirts really can be flattering on just about any body. It’s all about finding the right proportions.

– The right proportion for most people means a hem that stops about an inch above the knee. You can go a little higher if you’re petite, or a little longer if you’re leggy, but one inch above the knee is the safe zone.

– Don’t be afraid of alterations. It is rare to find a perfect fit right off the rack. Find an overall shape that’s flattering and the hem can easily be adjusted.

– That overall shape should be tighter than you think. Most curvy (i.e. normal) women’s instinct is to avoid anything that’s too snug on the hips or heinie because they think it will make them look bigger. Now I’m not advocating a skirt so tight that you waddle like a penguin, but a pencil skirt that fits snugly on the hips and tapers SLIGHTLY toward the knee is the most flattering. A boxy pencil skirt is no one’s friend. Isn’t that right, Joan:

image credit

Happy Wednesday, kids and stay tuned for Part 3 coming soon!