This girl could have used our help – a crime of fashion

The date: Thursday, June 8, 2012

The place: Fan Fair, Nashville, TN (yes I know they call it the CMA Music Festival now, but when I moved here it was Fan Fair and so to me, Fan Fair it will always be)

The crime:

The description: This past weekend in Nashville was the annual CMA music festival (aka Fan Fair) – or as I like to call it, Hell on Earth. That’s because Fan Fair attracts the very worst of the worst of country music fans from all over the country to my sweet city. And those fans wander the downtown streets in a way that makes it very difficult not to run them down with my car on my way to and from work each day. Needless to say, I am glad Fan Fair is behind us for another year.

But with all of the bad Fan Fair brings, it also brings us good – in the form of heinous fashion atrocities. The one above arrived via e-mail from Brown-haired Shea along with this text:

“As seen at Fan Fair during the National Anthem… God bless America. And her heart.” 

Truer words have never been spoken.  In return, I expressed my concern for her lady parts as one could only imagine how much higher those shorts must have crept when she tried to sit down for the show.

The lesson: Don’t let the summer music festival season be an excuse to hang your heinie out all over town – you never know what kind of sweaty man-beast might have sat in your seat before you.

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About Shea Brakefield

Lawyer for pay. Fashion crimefighter for free. View all posts by Shea Brakefield

2 responses to “This girl could have used our help – a crime of fashion

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